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Christophers Ameican Wall Heath, Kingswinford

 

About Christopher's American

The original place, born out of the old Wagon and Horses public house, opened in the mid-eighties, only to be suspiciously burnt down in about '86.

It re-emerged as Christopher's American II and featured a spangly-lit entrance; gold balustrades around a sunken dance floor; extensive cocktail bar (closed for the under-eighteens Monday Club); authentic 'Hit Man and Her' swivelly lights and lasers; a smoke machine and latterly, a garden barbecue and fingering area.

Housed in the original pub building was a separate wine bar, for the more discerning and slightly older drinker.

This evolved into the slightly more sophisticated Christopher's American 3 in about '89, after one of the aforementioned swively lights fell onto the dance floor during a Bobby Brown number.

It was then felt that the place needed tidying up, so out went the lasers, spangly entrance and in came new 'Christopher's' monogrammed carpet and regular visits from the Grange Hill cast, notably 'Ziggy' and Zammo, just before he hit the smack and became a locksmith in Islington.

1991 saw the advent of Legends/Yesterday's - a totally new concept. The old Christopher's wine bar became 'Legends', a condensed version of Christopher's, with a mirrored wall at one end (to make it seem bigger) and constantly broken toilets.

The original Christopher's nightclub premises was turned into 'Yesterday's', a pale pastiche of the world-famous Hard Rock Cafe. A half-hearted collection of irrelevant rock memorabilia, poor lighting, bad beer and sickly burgers put paid to this venture in '94.

After months of dereliction and a serious fire, the hallowed site was sold to developers and turned into David Payne houses, to be occupied by people from Gornal who think they've made it in life because they drive a T-reg Vauxhall Vectra and have sun-blushed tomatoes in their fucking fridge.

Memorable Christopher's moments

  • A love-spurned Capri Laser driver slamming his vehicle into the main doors, in order to prove his undying love to his (probably pork-ugly) girlfriend.
  • The car park hot dog vendor getting pelted with hot dog.
  • Fighting in Wall Heath on the way home.
  • Queues for the blood-soaked urinals.
  • Zammo getting gobbed on.
  • Sneaking in over the garden wall.
  • Concession passes (from Ben Baker Graphics, Wall Heath).

Not to be confused with: The 'Fisher; 'Oscars' at the Summerhill Hotel; Blanford Mere School Disco.

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